Why getting rid of stress won’t make you feel less stressed
I’ve taught workshops connected to Mental Health Awareness Month for many years, and last year I noticed something interesting:
The conversation began shifting from mental health to mental well-being.
While the two are connected, they aren’t actually the same thing.
To me, supporting mental health is often similar to going to the doctor once you’re already sick and trying to manage symptoms.
Mental well-being, on the other hand, is more preventative.
It’s the small things we do consistently that help support the nervous system before we hit a breaking point.
Things like:
taking walks
getting outside
moments of rest
meditation
connection
laughter
These ways of supporting ourselves regularly change how we move through life.
And one of the most impactful shifts we can make for our mental well-being is changing our relationship to stress.
Most of us were taught that stress is inherently "bad".
Something to avoid.
Something to manage.
A common thing I hear from clients is:
“Once I get through this project, I’ll feel less stressed.”
“Once things calm down, I’ll finally be able to relax.”
But the truth is… there will almost always be another thing waiting to replace the stressful thing that just came off your plate.
Which means if our only strategy is trying to eliminate stress, we stay stuck in stress management mode forever.
But when we can learn to relate to stress differently, we move into resilience mode instead.
In truth, much of the stress our brain initially categorizes as “bad” can actually become the kind of "good" stress that brings positive changes into our lives.
Most stress comes with the opportunity to:
learn something new
navigate change
build resilience
become more of who you want to be
That doesn’t mean those experiences always feel good in the moment.
But it does mean we can begin asking a different question:
“How is this experience giving me an opportunity to
learn, grow, or become more of something I’ve wanted to be?”
And often, when you look back on your life, some of your most stressful or unwanted experiences also became catalysts for growth, clarity, strength, or change.
So I’ll leave you with this question this week:
What’s one stressful experience from your past that eventually revealed some kind of unexpected gift, lesson, or growth?
Sometimes supporting our mental well-being starts not by eliminating stress entirely… but by learning how to experience it differently.
